Kate really flung the old crapola on Live with Regis and Kelly today, spewing lots of what my father used to call “happy horse shit.” No matter how many times she says what she does is in the children’s best interests, it’s clear her own image is her priority. Below is a transcript with my comments inserted. Put your waders on, it’s deep in here.
Kelly begins the interview by asking if Kate knew then what she knows now, would she have allowed the cameras into her life and her house, with all the attention that came with it?
Kate: “I look at it still as a huge blessing. I am able to…I mean I’m solely providing for eight kids and I can to do that because of the opportunities, because the way life turned out for me. So I still, when I go back and think in my mind, because I’m asked that a lot, I think I ended up with eight kids and I never envisioned that, and then I ended up with this change of career that has allowed me to provide for them. And I’m providing solely for them, and I’m able to do that, I’m very grateful to have this job that they can be alongside of me where I’m working and they’re playing and it’s still to me, it goes hand in hand, and it’s working for us.
(So you’re surprised you ended up with eight kids because there was absolutely no chance of that happening despite fertility treatments? You’re providing solely for them because your corporate owner has blocked Jon from having any income, but why point it out on TV where your children’s friends and everyone else can hear it? And there’s that tired old refrain, you’re “working” while they’re “playing.” All television jobs, even reality TV, are hard work. Even reality TV involves fake plots, being fed lines, having to repeat takes, having to sit and endlessly “hurry up and wait,” having to stay clean, having to stay quiet, having to fake smile, etc. It's grueling, even for healthy adults. And you’re not supporting your kids. Without those kids we never would have heard of you. Those kids are supporting you.)
Anderson: So you’re saying Jon’s not providing for them at all?
Kate: I’m doing it, like I said, by myself, since our divorce, it’s me, and I don’t spend time, you know, worrying about it, getting upset about it. I’m just very glad that for them, life has stayed the same, you know, they’re in their same house and they’re in their same school and as a parent that’s my job to do it and, you know, I don’t have to worry about anybody else.
(If you’re not upset, why do you throw little digs and veiled putdowns of your children’s father on TV and other public venues? And why do you make it sound like you’re their only parent, and the only parent who’s taking care of them? You’re not a single parent any more than Jon is. Your children have two parents. And I don’t mean you and Steve.)
Anderson: Is your relationship with Jon as contentious as some make it out to be, or…
Kate: It’s, you know…
Anderson: I’ll take that as a Yes
(Kudos to Anderson for cutting through the happy horse shit. Kelly is a useless asskiss but we knew we could count on you.)
Kate: It depends on the day, um, I just know that it’s, you know, it’s my focus, is the kids, and doing the best for them and you know, Jon and I are divorced, obviously, but he’s still their father, so I do try to keep it as peaceful as possible. I’ll speak for myself when I answer that.
(Do you try to keep it peaceful by locking Jon out of the property so he cannot even drive up the driveway to pick up his own children without Chris the paps in his face? Or is that last passive-aggressively attacking comment an example of trying to keep it as peaceful as possible?)
Anderson: When the kids spend time with him, what do you do?
Kate: I just basically wait for the phone call for how many of them want to come home.
(How sad and lonely you must be, sitting around forlornly, waiting for the poor wee ones to call for your help, since you have no life other than them, no boyfriend, no appointments and nothing to do, and they hate being with their father, right?)
Kelly: No kidding.
Kate: Yeah, I do, I mean, I don’t really have any exciting plans unless I’m working or traveling or something.
(When you’re home you’re in your office all day while nannies and others take care of the children, do your laundry, do your ironing, clean your home and do your bidding. To borrow and paraphrase, “It’s a boring life, but it’s your life.”)
Kelly: So like, if they want to come home, what happens, I mean, are they, are they allowed to, or…?
Kate: It’s a weird thing, that whole law, it’s hard to explain it to your kids who want to be at home, playing with their toys and sleeping in their beds and spending time with me, so as much as that is allowed, I’m there for them and I bring them home.
(Yeah, Wow. They miss you so much you go and pick them up at Jon’s apartment. The only thing missing is the background violin music as we imagine sad neglected children, crying for their own toys and beds and mommy, but alas and alak, the law, the damned law, makes them go with their deadbeat neglectful father instead. Insert sad sigh here.)
Anderson: So you’re saying basically that they don’t enjoy being with him?
(Good job of trying to make Kate own her comments, Anderson. She'll still be ambiguous, but good job trying.)
Kate: You know, some of them do, different days, different times, they don’t mind, some of them, it’s a difficult situation, it’s not home, it doesn’t feel like home to them, and actually my six year olds are very torn. They tell me. It’s hard, it’s hard to explain. And I understand that, I mean, they have a need to see him because he is their father, but yet they want to be at home, in their house.
(They always look happier with him than they do with you, no matter where they are. The video of them being locked out at the gate was awful ~ it gave the impression they did not want to leave their father and go home with you. We know how rude and controlling you are in public ~ What are you like in private? And if you truly believe they want to be home, let their father visit them at home instead of locking him out of the property. After all, you “do try to keep it as peaceful as possible,” right?)
Kelly: What about your older girls, because they must really be fully aware of what divorce is and what custody means and what all of that is.
(You bet they’re old enough to be aware. 15 Minutes Gosselin Style has a counter ~ as of today, only 2949 days left until they’re 18, and then what’s going to happen to your relationship with them? Will they sue you for selling their childhoods and for their incomes which pay for your opulent lifestyle, and will they ever even want to talk with you again?)
Kate: This is very new to us, we’ve only been doing this for about three months, that he’s been actually spending time with them and taking them, so it’s very new, and people I think kind of forget that with even with school going back this year, the school didn’t realize that we are so new to this switching back and forth thing, and so we’re just, that’s kind of sinking in, and it’s very difficult, you know they’ve had friends whose parents are divorced so they’re just trying to get used to the fact that these are the days, and I’m trying to keep the schedule as stable as possible and not have it flimsy flamsy around because for them that’s the best, they need to know, like, I go this many days and…
Kelly: Yeah, kids like consistency.
Kate: Right, it works out for the best, I mean our whole lives are inconsistent…
(This makes it sound like Jon wasn’t spending time with them until the last three months, which is untrue. It also makes it sound like you were usually with them before then, which is also untrue. Up above you said “I’m just very glad that for them, life has stayed the same,” but now you’re contradicting yourself by saying it’s been difficult for them and their lives are inconsistent. Well, you got that last part right.)
(End of interview, showed clip of Kate Plus Eight.)
* * * * *
Worst part of the interview? Kate’s unconcealed distain for Jon and her glorious martyrdom as evidenced by her various pained facial expressions. Can’t wait to hear what the body language expert has to say about this one.
Best part of the interview? The look of incredulousness and barely hidden disgust on Anderson Cooper’s face. Kelly may be a die-hard team-playing Disney employee, but Anderson knows happy horse shit when he hears it.
Classiest Tweet of the day? Jon, for expressing his dismay on Twitter while also deciding to take the high road. Good for you, Jon.
Kate, this isn't a contest. You'll always both be the children's parents, and being divorced doesn't have to mean you're enemies. Do what you need to do to move on from your resentments. The more you act like a team the better it will be for everyone, especially the kids.