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« Reader's Call to Donation Agency About Kate Gosselin Book: Robert Hooo? | Main | Who Is Robert Hoffman: About the Author of a New Book About Kate Gosselin »

“Shocking” That Kate Gosselin Hit Kids? Unfortunately, Not Really.


If this week's cover of Star Magazine is any indication, Robert Hoffman is depending on the world being shocked by his claims that Kate Gosselin abused her children so that he can sell copies of his book. My bet is that this “shocking” revelation will blow over by next week and, as usual, nothing will have happened to help the kids. Why? Because those of us who've followed this story for years know these allegations are not shocking at all. In fact, the abuse and neglect of the eight kids over the years is well documented and the authorities and their relatives, including, it pains me to say, in my opinion their father, have consistently neglected to step in and help them.

My blog has provided many examples of child abuse and neglect over the past three years, and I went viral when I interviewed Eric Roberts after he called Kate Gosselin a “child abuser” almost two years ago. And that nasty wooden spoon? It might be news to the general public but it's been the subject of many online comments, jabs and jokes over the years. In my book,
Jon & Kate Plus Eight: The Selling of the Gosselins, my interview with Becky Dilley (mother of sextuplets who were not exploited, sold or made famous without their permission) highlighted the fact that the Gosselin kids could only have been put into the positions they were because their parents signed them up for it. It only makes sense that a parent who has the potential to be abusive, or at the very least neglectful, is much more likely to subject their child(ren) to something traumatic like reality TV than a parent who does not.

Hoffman's “shocking” disclosure meriting space in
Star Magazine highlights how seriously we, as a society, tend to take physical abuse compared to other forms of abuse. We enjoyed watching these kids being neglected, bullied, paraded before pedophiles, and having their most private moments splayed out for public consumption and amusement for years, and it's all available at any time online and on DVDs so that they will never be able to escape it, but now they're suddenly being called abused children. Please, if a mother does the many things to her children that have long been documented on my blog and elsewhere, why are we shocked that their mother also hits them, and why do we only recognize that these children have been abused when hitting is disclosed?

I haven't heard about anything in Hoffman's book that hasn't already been covered in Al Walentis's or mine. It does sadden me though that he is only working hard to get the issue of the children being abused out to the public now that he has a book to sell. Hoffman was supposedly friends with Jon for some time, but if he really cared about the kids and had concrete evidence that they'd been physically abused, why didn't he do something to actually help the eight instead of now subjecting them to the additional trauma that will likely result from his selling his story to the tabloids ?


Article first published as “Shocking” That Kate Gosselin Hit Kids?  Unfortunately, Not Really. on Technorati.


Reader Comments (41)


You are absolutely spot on -- anyone who has been following this sad Gosselin saga already knows about the spoon, this is most definitely old news. Unfortunately those who know about the spoon have also been very concerned for what really goes on behind closed doors of the McMansion, especially now that the cameras are off.

FYI today, Thursday, the ladies on THE VIEW had the photo of Kate and the kids with the spoon in the car door that appears on ROL.

Not a real surprise, the ladies had their facts messed up: they are under the impression that Hoffman helped Kate write her first two books which is why he had access to her journals but then he kept his mouth shut re the abuse of the kids. The ladies were not happy that he had not said a word this entire time.

BUT I think that when Hoffman's book is published -- especially if he personally sends a complimentary copy to THE VIEW Attention Joy Behar -- I think then things could get real interesting in Gosselinland ...

September 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMickey McKean

Proceeds from the book will be donated to Children's Alliance Center / CASA – A Service of Opportunity House, per Robert Hoffman's blog.

As others have been discussing, we don't know what has or has not been done. It has also been discussed that CPS has been to the house at least twice, and that PA law is extremely lenient toward abusive parents. The abuse has to be severely violent to warrant removal from the house.

I am going to see what the book has to say as it has been made very clear that it is fully documented with Kate herself as a source, along with family, friends and TLC employees.

And as far as the View goes, they are hand in hand with TLC, and are trying to deflect, deflect, deflect, deflect. I do not know how those ladies sleep at night, knowing they are being paid to protect a child abuser.

September 27, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterheather

Hi Friends. Al Walentis has been tweeting tonight and he commented about the legality of an author publishing someone's private journals without their permission. I don't understand it either. It will be interesting to see how it plays out. I doubt TLC will make any kind of a fuss about it. Al's and my books already reveal all kinds of unflattering things about them and they couldn't have cared less. They may even see this as an opportunity to sell more DVDs of the shows. Al's and my sales will definitely spike and theirs probably will too, not to mention Kate will sell more books. On the other hand the whole thing may fall flat, no one will give a rat's ass and Hoffman's book will fade away. Kate is old news. Time will tell. But I am sure nothing will change regarding the kids. Sad but true. Sure wish Kate would see a good therapist but I doubt that will happen either.

September 27, 2012 | Registered CommenterWerny Gal


I also noted that Hoffman posted that "Proceeds from this project will be donated to Children's Alliance Center / CASA – A Service of Opportunity House, Reading, PA."

I checked to see what this charity is all about and it sounds like a very worthy cause.

Kudos to Hoffman for pledging proceeds ***BUT*** some people have already ASSUMED that this means ALL proceeds but that is NOT what Hoffman has posted.

In fact I could not help but notice that he has specifically NOT used the word ALL or 100%.

So I gotta ask Robert Hoffman:

What percentage of the proceeds are you donating to the above charity? 1%? 5%? 50%? ???

Right now the ladies on THE VIEW are clueless that this "spoon" news is old news to anyone who has followed the Gosselin saga, and it is only now getting out because Hoffman has a book that he is about to publish.

Which will bring up the question -- did Hoffman have personal knowledge or had witnessed the abuse in person but instead of reporting it to the authorities he instead allowed the children to be abused for years while he got around to writing a book about it?

Is he going to be profitting off the Gosselin children??? Again he did not indicate that ALL proceeds were going to charity, he wants to make something off this book, if nothing else to pay off his recent legal bills in fighting Kate and her attorneys.

I want to make something perfectly clear -- I don't care if Hoffman makes money on this book because I have to believe that by exposing the true Kate that it will ultimately help the children. If nothing else, perhaps Jon will finally be able to get the children the therapy they need, that perhaps the kids will get a guardian ad litem appointed for them and Kate will be ordered to pay for all their counseling.

Again, I think that Hoffman should send THE VIEW a complimentary copy of his book, Joy in particular will want to talk about it what information is in the book based upon comments she has made about Kate on her previous show. If THE VIEW won't touch the subject because they are in bed with TLC, then perhaps Joy will talk about it on her new talk show at night.

Who knows, perhaps with Hoffman's book, as well as the books that Polly and Al have written, viewers will finally see the hazards of children in reality TV shows. At least we can hope so.

September 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMickey McKean

Werny I agree that most likely the book isn't going to be any kind of best seller. Those of us who bought your book and Al's will likely buy Robert's, so he will make some money. I am glad he is donating the proceeds to charity. I hope it is the full amount.

I think the book differs from yours and Al's in that this is Kate's own words. It gives confirmation to those of us who have suspected abuse from the primary source. It is the "hard proof" that her most ardent detractors have been praying for for years. Even if the rest of the world goes "Meh", her non-fans are now validated, the time and energy they have put in to keeping this story relevant so that the kids can see all viewpoints of their story when they become adults, not just their mom's skewed version of events rewarded.

Kate has been called out finally through her own words. And for what it's worth, I do think that counts for something, but that is just my opinion.

Will this make a difference in the kids or Kate's lives? Probably not. As I've said before, neither the court nor CPS is going to swoop in and save them from their functionally crazy mom, especially over journal entries that chronicled their lives at 2 and 6. I think, if Jon has 50/50 custody now, that the best that can be done has been at this point. The kids could use therapy as could Jon and Kate to learn how to coparent and Kate for her own issues with an abusive childhood and her bipolar disorder. I pray Kate is in medication.

One last comment, regarding the journal entries: It has been theorized elsewhere that Kate either had these files on an old iPhone or hard drive that was discarded or given to someone else who passed it on to Robert. To my understanding, once you "throw away or sell" something, the new owner (in the case of selling things) or joe public (in the case of your garbage) has the right to use the discarded contents any way they choose.

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSilimom

I agree with everything you said, silimom. And good point about trash being fair play, up for grabs.

I don't have a problem with Hoffman making money off his book either, Mickey. I know as well as anyone all the work that goes into writing a book, and there's nothing wrong with being paid for our work. But I do think it's ridiculous to now, after the last few years of opportunities to contribute something positive to the welfare of the eight, for him to be presenting himself as a child advocate. The cover of his book is not that of a child advocate. It's tabloidish and imagine how the kids will feel when they see it.

I think Al sent Joy Bahar a copy of his book and never heard from her. She might not have even actually received it. They get so much mail that a lot of it is probably weeded out before they even see it.

September 28, 2012 | Registered CommenterWerny Gal

I have to disagree, respectfully. I think this book is going to have a lot of new information. Sure we knew about the spoon, but not to the extent she went to with it. We had no idea about the hair pulling and the horrific spankings. There isn't really any reason to go through all of it, because it has been discussed ad infinitum. I look forward to reading this book. And I am sorry to say, that Al's book was a joke. It was a tease and then it was all about bashing Jon and giving Kate a free ride. I didn't read about any of what we have been hearing lately in his book. I will definitely be buying the book as soon as possible on Saturday and buying a few for our local libraries. He has already shown us more information than was in a few pages of other books. Best seller? Very likely not. But for all of us involved with this drama since the beginning, there is vindication for what we have suspected all along, only it is much, much worse.

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCassie

I also agree with Silimom -- I think that Hoffman's book will confirm and validate what a lot of the "haters" have believed all along, just like the books that Polly and Al wrote, each in their own style. But because Hoffman has zeroed in on Kate, and using her own words, it will be a fun read ... but not for the Sheeple.

I also wanted to mention that Dog the Bounty Hunter refers to going to people's garbage - in the hope to confirm that they have the current residence of the fugitive they are hunting - as "garbagology".

Seriously folks, be careful what you throw out as there are people out there that have no problem in going through your garbage looking for credit card statements etc. so they can steal your identity or whatever. Get a shredder and use it.

Of course if you are a celebrity and live in L.A. then you know that the paparazzi will go through your trash in the hopes of finding something that would be worthwhile to sell to a tabloid. Perhaps Kate did not know this little rule and if not, did Hoffman go through Kate's trash and luck out? Guess once the book comes out perhaps this particular question will be answered.

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMickey McKean

If you've read Al's book you know that the words "a source close to" means that person himself is the source. This indicates that Jon is the source behind a lot of the material in Hoffman's book.

I'm ambivalent. I think it's good that someone's written a book exposing the truth about Kate. She's taken advantage of many good sincere people and been abusive to many people inside and outside of her home and it's not right. On the other hand, I wish to hell the kids didn't have to see this book, and let's face it, eventually they will. I was so careful to consider all of my words, my cover image, and the tone of my book, knowing it may very well be eventually read by the eight. I cringe when I think of the kids seeing the cover of Hoffman's book. It's at least as bad as any sleazy tabloid cover Jon and Kate have ever been on.

Thanks for your great comments everyone, as usual.

September 28, 2012 | Registered CommenterWerny Gal

Well Hello to all the small town neighbors......

This is my 8 cents.......

1. Just because you can write it should you?

2. My only other criticism thus far of the book is the cover....this could have been played to the hilt. For example take the number eight and put all the different pictures of Kate the fake around it like a collage because let's face it she went from frumpy to fake --- all courtesy of TLC and squeezing every penny they could get from her children's lives.

3. What about the kids? They have already lived this----finally TLC set them free and here we go again.

4. Since the gosselin saga & the 200 million in profits made-- we now have the Honey boo boos, the amish, the teen moms, the cheer leaders, the dance moms, the addicted, the strange, the polygamists----and I probably am not naming half of them--- The Gosselin's missed a chance to warn other parents of the pitfalls of putting your children in a glass house and mortgaging their childhood's.

5. Kate is Kate and she isn't gonna change just cuz of a book

6. Wooden spoon- Just shows the long arm of TLC isn't protecting what is going out anymore? Why should they they have other families to try to spin now?

7. Where is the TLC family---- she said would always be there. We know at this time one bodyguard is with Honey boo boo

8. This is a bunch of Happy Horseshit (if you really think about it) and Kate is probably hulled up in her office googling every half hour to see who is talking about her....

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterIrene

Oh there are some great posts here today. Im not naive but Im really sick about hearing of the kids getting hit with a spoon. I wasnt aware of the spanking spoon. I was aware of the evil eyes Kate has, and if they scared me imagine what the kids must have to deal with. This is their "normal" . Ive always thought Jon was the better parent , but comeon Jon you knew what was going on and did what? Im not on a bash Jon campagn but that shocks me also. All I can say is these poor 8 kids did NOT ask to be born and now look where they are. The subject of the ladies on The View , I havent seen the actual show but from the posts here I also say sleep sound tonite knowing you support a child/children abuser. With this new book maybe now more will realize
what a fake, phoney user Kate has been. There is one thing Id like to know and that is , did Kate really drink alot when she was alone after Jon left? If so ,she could hurt the kids ever more being under the influence? This is so upsetting!

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulie B

Hi Julie, can't confirm but after Jon left I heard she was drinking a bottle of wine a night by herself. Also, I always thought the spoon was a spanking spoon. You thought it was for hitting but not spanking? I guess it was never clarified over the years what part of the body she used it on.

September 28, 2012 | Registered CommenterWerny Gal

Well, the mystery of how Kate "masterminded" her HOM birth is revealed. She is one sick woman.

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterheather

What I just don't understand is...with these seemingly credible reports, including in Kate's own words feeling that she is being too harsh...why is child protective services not offering her help!!! How could all these people have first hand knowledge of the abuse and nothing be done? Am I that naive that it is all about money?!?
As a therapist myself- who works with families who are currently receiving services from child protection- I am so disheartened and confused.

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

Werny , sorry by hitting I did mean spanking . If its true she spanked the kids with the spoon over potty training,( or more) we all saw on the show who were the last ones to train! :( .
Im so upset .....

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulie B

Me too, Julie. It's upsetting to think of her towering over those little ones inflicting that on them, and part if what makes me sick about it is that's not even good parenting toward teaching kids anything. It's just controlling and shaming them into submission. Brings me back to the old, "what the hell happened to Kate when she was a kid???"

September 28, 2012 | Registered CommenterWerny Gal

I remember hearing, well reading, that the film crew had "moral objections" to what they were seeing. I could only wonder what those things might be. However, based on how Kate treated her husband *onscreen* I was more afraid the cameras would leave and give Kate yet another thing to be really pissed off about, and she would take it out on her kids. (Of course, obviously, she did this even before the cameras went away, but still... don't piss off rabid dogs)

My father was almost the scariest person I ever met (till I was 35 or so) and yet, he never pulled me out of anything by my hair. He yelled at my aunt for hitting her kids in the head and told her to stop (my mother told me, years later - and she never lied. she was the one who told him when we moved out, we would never come back to see him. she told me that she told him.) Something tells me that, as scary as my father was - he was nothing compared to Kate. He had a temper, but, even compared to my ex - he never "lost it." (Arthur threw stuff. I was shocked. I'd never seen an "adult" do such things.)

Talked to my brother about the belt. He said he got it maybe 4 or 5 times as a kid (but not as a 2 year old!) Also said father said "get your hands out of the way" (I remember now) and one time he didn't, but he never made that mistake again. I sometimes wonder if my count of spankings (with a belt) might not *include* my brother's. More often - but still very rarely - we got spanked with a hand to our butts. Never anywhere else. (though if my mother wanted to get a point across, it was sometimes a slap to whatever she could reach (but never above the shoulders - usually a leg or an arm) - but I was never scared of her. She was the one I ran to when my father had his tirades. I later learned he hit her once. Just once. This explains her in my bed one night when I was a teenager, crying and saying "it will be all right." Okay, I guess my father did "lose his temper" once. I'm glad I was not there to see and didn't learn of it till years later. My mother didn't say why she was crying. She must have told me after he died.

I figure that Jon was terrorized at the time and couldn't stand up to her. I wish that he could have, since, but I hear people say that the laws are extremely lax in PA? (maybe I read that here)

I've just always felt that being on camera was the least of these kids worries. I knew she was a monster. I could just tell. I don't know if there's anything that could ever change her. I can't imagine her going to therapy unless forced to by a court and even then, she won't be doing it willingly, so it won't help.

I can't even think of all the ways she might be abusing her kids - locking them in closets, starving them? Oh wait - I did read Mommie Dearest. My father never did that either. He just did the yelling and the destruction of self-esteem by verbal attacks. But his were all just his anger. I can imagine Kate's being twisted and calculated... I knew someone like that - not till I was 35 - her ideas of "revenge" - they were scary. She truly wanted to drive you literally insane. I still have a copy of her 12 point plan to get back at an "enemy." When I stopped being friends with her I wasn't the least bit confused about where all the attacks were coming from (from the porn catalogs, magazine subscriptions I got billed for, the 69 email lists I had suddenly "subscribed to" (they don't make you send back a confirmation for no reason) or the day "I" apparently "cancelled" my ISP ("you called, last night" (we changed my secret word)) to the letter from the postal inspector in Michigan - so that's where she moved to! - accusing me of harassment thru the postal system. My friends thought my ex did it, but I knew better. He just wanted to be left alone. I never knew anyone could be that nuts. I know now.

Even with all that - why would anyone keep a diary of it? Did we learn nothing from Nixon? That totally puzzles me. If she was proud of doing it - I could see documenting it. But she said she was scared she might hurt/have hurt one of them? I'm confused.

If course I've mostly just heard of this, and have not even read the source. Why on earth would anyone wait so long to "reveal" something like this? Was there a trigger? I've never heard of "delayed greed."

When was it decided Kate was bipolar? I missed that one. I can't remember anything seen or heard that I'd consider manic.

And is Heather (with a capital H) coming back?

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPamelaJaye

one more thing - I went to his page for the book, not the blog. I was listening to American Top 40 at the time. Suddenly (after a bit) there was competing music. I knew I'd heard it before. Forget where. I never listen to the radio (ex made me stop, after a fashion, in 86). It's Luka. That's the song tiltle. Look it up in Wikipedia. Hopefully it's "used with permission." It's a good choice.

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPamelaJaye

Until today, I never knew about the 'spanking spoon' - but now the story is all over the internet, with various news and media sites reporting how Kate's own journals describe her flying into rages and hitting the kids for the slightest misbehaviour, even when they were babies in diapers.

As shocked as I am, I am even more disturbed at many of the comments on these sites - they are actually defending Kate! The typical comment is 'My daddy took a belt to me and my siblings every day, and we turned out really well, so kudos to Kate for doing what many parents today are afraid to do, which is discipline the kids.'

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara M.

OH WG Ive thought that too about Kate, was she subjected to that also? Not having her parents in her life and her kids? She talked about her "strict" upbringing??

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulie B

In my experience people like Kate are made, not born that way. I go into it in my book. Something went very wrong IMO.

September 28, 2012 | Registered CommenterWerny Gal

I decided to buy Robert's book yesterday in the ebook format because I did not know what would happen to it once it was released since Kate and her attorneys did everything they could to stop it from seeing the light of day. It was certainly not a surprise to hear that Discovery served Robert with papers to cease and desist.

Just like anyone else who has been following this Gosselin saga for years, I wanted confirmation of what I feared was happening behind closed doors. Because this book contains Kate's own words, now I feel I have verification of my worse fears. I have to say that it has crossed my mind to drive to PA and rescue these children because now that the book is published, what will Kate do to the children because she could not stop this book?

If this book is ever published in a paperback version I will buy it too, if nothing else to share space on my bookcase with the books that Al Walentis and Polly Kahl wrote in the hope of getting the word out to the viewers that reality TV is NOT reality, especially when it comes to the Gosselins. Kudos to all three locals who took the time to write a book in the hope of helping the children in particular.

As a former fan of the show, once I took off my rose colored glasses, it was easy for me to see that families in general, and children in particular, are harmed for years even after the show has been cancelled thanks to the big bad TV network because all they care about is their profit margin and making their shareholders happy. To them the family is nothing more than colateral damage because it was more important to entertain their viewers than to worry about the psychological damage to 8 little kids who not only had their childhood and privacy sold, but now we know suffered child abuse too.

No doubt the big bad TV network thought that the perks could ease their conscience, that is, if they had one in the first place.

When I heard way back when that the original producer and cameramen voluntarily left to do another show, it crossed my mind that they were uncomfortable as to what they had witnessed in the Gosselin home, and yes I figured it was Kate's treatment of the kids when the cameras were not on. But thanks to confidentiality agreements and no doubt needing their jobs, these people kept their mouth shut and simply moved on. Now that Robert's book has shed light on the CA, I understand to some point BUT I also know that one can contact CPS and their identity will not be revealed to anyone.

So now that Robert has opened up the can of worms, I hope and pray that more people who witnessed things first hand in the Gosselin home will come forward too, if not by going to the media then making a report to CPS. There are 8 little children who need their help in order to stop the abuse.

Finally, I also hope that other families who think that reality TV is an easy way to make money, that they are not harming their children in any way and who do not care what the haters say even if it is forever on the Internet, it is these families that need to understand that there is long term damage. Yes, I'm talking about Honey Boo Boo and family, especially since I heard something like TLC has ordered more episodes to be filmed since their ratings were as high as the Kardashians. However society - people in the media and bloggers - certainly do not need to be discussing any weight issues a 7 year old child may or may not have as I fear it will lead to little Alana having life long food issues, and this will be after their show has been cancelled and viewers have moved on to other shows.

September 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMickey McKean

Let the lawsuits commence. I don't think they'll have a leg to stand on. Do they really want her to be cross-examined or deposed?

Yes, Mickey, Robert did not say "all" when referring to proceeds. Neither did he say "part of", "partial", "some" etc.

We all need to band together if we truly want something good to come out of this. Blaming Jon and Robert will not accomplish anything. The focus needs to remain on Kreider. If WE do the deflecting, Kreider won't have to do anything and nothing will change.

September 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterP.J.

Great posts, Mickey and P.J., thanks.

It's an overcast cool day here in Wernersville and Kate is still being conspicuously quiet on Twitter. Wonder how she's doing, if the kids are with her or Jon, and what the spin control will consist of?

September 29, 2012 | Registered CommenterWerny Gal

Because the book was released yesterday and Kate and her attorneys were unable to stop it, I am going to hope and pray that the kids are with Jon this weekend because if they are not ... they would be convenient and innocent targets of her rage and no one will be able to hear their screams.

September 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMickey McKean

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