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« Reader's Call to Donation Agency About Kate Gosselin Book: Robert Hooo? | Main | Who Is Robert Hoffman: About the Author of a New Book About Kate Gosselin »
Wednesday
Sep262012

“Shocking” That Kate Gosselin Hit Kids? Unfortunately, Not Really.

 

If this week's cover of Star Magazine is any indication, Robert Hoffman is depending on the world being shocked by his claims that Kate Gosselin abused her children so that he can sell copies of his book. My bet is that this “shocking” revelation will blow over by next week and, as usual, nothing will have happened to help the kids. Why? Because those of us who've followed this story for years know these allegations are not shocking at all. In fact, the abuse and neglect of the eight kids over the years is well documented and the authorities and their relatives, including, it pains me to say, in my opinion their father, have consistently neglected to step in and help them.

My blog has provided many examples of child abuse and neglect over the past three years, and I went viral when I interviewed Eric Roberts after he called Kate Gosselin a “child abuser” almost two years ago. And that nasty wooden spoon? It might be news to the general public but it's been the subject of many online comments, jabs and jokes over the years. In my book,
Jon & Kate Plus Eight: The Selling of the Gosselins, my interview with Becky Dilley (mother of sextuplets who were not exploited, sold or made famous without their permission) highlighted the fact that the Gosselin kids could only have been put into the positions they were because their parents signed them up for it. It only makes sense that a parent who has the potential to be abusive, or at the very least neglectful, is much more likely to subject their child(ren) to something traumatic like reality TV than a parent who does not.

Hoffman's “shocking” disclosure meriting space in
Star Magazine highlights how seriously we, as a society, tend to take physical abuse compared to other forms of abuse. We enjoyed watching these kids being neglected, bullied, paraded before pedophiles, and having their most private moments splayed out for public consumption and amusement for years, and it's all available at any time online and on DVDs so that they will never be able to escape it, but now they're suddenly being called abused children. Please, if a mother does the many things to her children that have long been documented on my blog and elsewhere, why are we shocked that their mother also hits them, and why do we only recognize that these children have been abused when hitting is disclosed?

I haven't heard about anything in Hoffman's book that hasn't already been covered in Al Walentis's or mine. It does sadden me though that he is only working hard to get the issue of the children being abused out to the public now that he has a book to sell. Hoffman was supposedly friends with Jon for some time, but if he really cared about the kids and had concrete evidence that they'd been physically abused, why didn't he do something to actually help the eight instead of now subjecting them to the additional trauma that will likely result from his selling his story to the tabloids ?

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Article first published as “Shocking” That Kate Gosselin Hit Kids?  Unfortunately, Not Really. on Technorati.

 

Reader Comments (41)

I bought the book for my iPad yesterday and I'd advise anyone else who plans to buy it to do so soon. If Amazon removes it from their site due to pressure from Discovery or some other powers that be, it won't be available for purchase anymore. This way you'll have a copy of it safe on your devise.

Like you I hope the kids are with Jon. Hopefully Bob timed it that way, for the kids.

September 29, 2012 | Registered CommenterWerny Gal

Al Walentis has an interesting blog entry on Hoffman's book.
http://greaterreadingonline.com/2012/9/28/whoi-is-robert-hoffman-and-why-is-he-writing-those-terrible-things-about-kate-gosselin

September 29, 2012 | Registered CommenterWerny Gal

If Kate went so crazy over a coupon with Jon can you imagine her with the kids ? Wooowzer!

September 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulie B

I have been associated with various charities and I know from personal experience that sometimes an organization must distance themselves from someone or something due to "guilt by association". In other words that their reputation could be tarnished by negative publicity.

That being said, I called the Opportunity House to ask whether or not they were aware that a book was released yesterday where it is advertised that proceeds are going to be donated to their organization. I made the point that it does not say 100% of the proceeds but I was sure there were people who were buying the book assuming that ALL of the proceeds were going to Opportunity House which is about child advocacy.

I gave them a brief outline of the contents of the book and that it talks about specific child abuse, that the author himself saw the abuse and wrote this book.

I gave them the gosselinbook web site address so they could check this out for themselves.

I said that in my opinion the cover of the book would be painful for the Gosselin children to see one day, and considering what I have read about their organization online I was a little surprised that they would sponsor or necessarily want to benefit from this book.

Their response was that I was not their first call about this very subject, that they have never heard of Robert Hoffman, they do not know anything about the book, there is no agreement in place but under the circumstances they probably will need to have their legal department look into this matter.

Please understand that I am glad Robert Hoffman wrote his book, not because he exposed Kate to the world, but by doing so it just might help save the Gosselin 8. Robert has the right to make money off the book if he so chooses because he has the right to make a living, or he can donate all or part of his proceeds to a charity -- as long as it will not harm the charity and of course with the charity's knowledge and permission to use their name.

Now I want to talk about Polly. I know that once again she is taking heat about her book where a lot of bloggers feel that she should not profit off the Gosselin children and are demanding that she donate all her proceeds to charity. Guess what folks, she has not made millions off her book, especially when you take into consideration how time consuming writing a book can be and since I edited the book I know how many hours I donated to the cause in helping her get it ready to be published.

What you folks do not know is that I know for a fact that Polly is associated with two well known national organizations, one being the Red Cross which she has blogged about, and the other one she has chosen not to reveal so it is not my place to do so. But guess what, Polly has been a member of their Board of Directors for over 20 years so in her case, she certainly has giving back to charity covered. Then when you figure she spent many hours writing a book in the hope that educating the public about the hazards of selling your family to a network and the long term harm it will cause to your children ... well I think I made my point here.

What will be interesting to see is how long there will be hoopla about Hoffman's book, and whether or not Amazon pulls it due to the threat of legal action.

September 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMickey McKean

Hello again, everyone. I haven't been around much since the TV show was canceled.

I bought the Hoffman book yesterday afternoon and even though I'm skimming have barely made it to the 40% mark. I'm hoping to get through it by Monday, because I have the feeling it will go *poof* on my Kindle when Discovery gets an injunction to remove it from Amazon. Not sure that they will be able to, but still!

I have to say that the journal entries and TLC/Discovery contracts and emails are pretty explosive stuff. They confirm what many of us have long suspected and worried about: that Kate Gosselin is indeed an abusive personality, and that TLC/Discovery was fully complicit in hiding both abusive behavior towards the children and were well aware of the fact that the children should have had work permits. Nasty. The confidentiality agreements are over the top too. No wonder people weren't talking.

I think it is quite plausible that Kate chucked out all this stuff in a temper and he just found it in the trash. There is a whistle-blower aspect to all of this too that will probably protect Hoffman legally and may help to protect other families from exploitative and unscrupulous productions. However, I'm personally uneasy about the sensationalist approach, and the, IMO, rather creepy marketing of the book.

Polly's book took a much more careful approach and was well written and researched. Perhaps the Hoffman book will cause more people to read her much more thoughtful book. We can only hope!

::waves at Polly:: Hey, how are you?

September 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJill P.

Wow, Mickey. I'll let my twitter followers know. From my experience with lots of non-profits and businesses over the years no one appreciates people publicly associating with them without their permission. It gives the false impression they endorse his book.

I'm great, Jill, great to see you here too! {{Jill}}

September 29, 2012 | Registered CommenterWerny Gal

every time i try to reply i end up on amazon's site. don' ask me why. really annoying though

is there sense in buying for kindle "before they pull it"? won't they just pull it off your device? isn't that what they do? THey have all this synch technology so you can go from on device to another. i'm assuming they can use it to pull it from their cloud and right off your device.

September 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPamelaJaye

Hi Sweet Pam! :) A veteran eBook downloader told me once you buy a book and download it onto your device it's on your device permanently and you own that copy of it. People without hand held devices can also download an Amazon app to their desktop computers so they can download it there. I downloaded a Kindle app onto my iPad and have it there. Then if it's removed from Amazon sales I'll still have my copy. I only wish I could print it out because I much prefer reading the dead tree versions. Love the way a book smells and feels in my hands. I read at least one book a week and love the whole experience of reading.

September 29, 2012 | Registered CommenterWerny Gal

well, bought, paid for and can't synch to tablet kindle software only PC. super.

September 29, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterpamelajaye

finally got it on the right machine. nice comments about Jon. sad about Al. Juggling stuff here.

September 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPamelaJaye

Hi Polly,

wikipedia was more helpful in proving I'm not nuts that google - today at least:

On July 17, 2009, Amazon.com withdrew certain Kindle titles, Animal Farm and Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell, from sale, refunded the cost to those who had purchased them, and remotely deleted these titles from purchasers' devices after discovering that the publisher lacked rights to publish the titles in question.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amazon_Kindle#Remote_content_removal

Hopefully they don't do this sort of thing anymore. :-)

Some critics also argued that the deletion violated the Kindle's Terms of Service, which states in part:[116]

"Upon your payment of the applicable fees set by Amazon, Amazon grants you the non-exclusive right to keep a permanent copy of the applicable Digital Content and to view, use and display such Digital Content an unlimited number of times, solely on the Device or as authorized by Amazon as part of the Service and solely for your personal, non-commercial use."


(I also saw a "share" button somewhere on the long trek to getting the darned book on the kindle app on the tablet rather than (actually in addition to) the laptop (which isn't great for reading. so far, the tablet won't allow me to post here either. darn.)

anyway, hopefully those days are gone.

September 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPamelaJaye

According to Al's blog, Amazon pulled the book. I copied the file to my desktop and put it inside a zip file with a different name.zip. Just in case...

October 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPamelaJaye

Yes, it's not available anymore. Hope my readers went and bought a copy like I told them to the night before it was pulled because who knows how long it will take to come back.

I put mine on my iPad and then last night went into my kindle page and added another copy to my laptop so I can read it there too. So you can go in and manage the one you bought, you just can't buy another one. I tried right-clicking and saving my laptop copy to disk but no option for saving came up on my right-click.

Glad you got a copy, Pam. It's definitely worth reading.

October 1, 2012 | Registered CommenterWerny Gal

For so long this travesty of the Gosselins, their greed, their lack of caring for their own children has been something you have been on top of. You live there in that town and you know where Kate shops (if she really does) who give her that orange look, etc. I was one of those who did think you did a stalker type thing with the Corn Maze, I will admit that. Now as I read the excerpts from Robert's book on that other web site, I am more than shocked. That person(s) who runs the website, one claiming atty, swares to the high heavens that good Robert and forgiven Jon never were out to destroy Kate. I believe that Kate & Jon were out to destroy each other. He destroyed the Brand because he wanted to be a famewhore and she was getting all of the attention. Jon wanted everyone in the world to know what she did to their children but he didn't want to accuse her because she has so much on him. So get that reporter Robert to pick up all the information placed somewhere everytime Jon downloaded Kate's computer. It was done to show that Kate was the monster. No Kate & Jon are the monsters. Jon knew what she was doing to those kids, he didn't stop her, he wanted to be a STAR. Now we have Jon getting even with Kate by way of this reporter who found all of this info in the trash?. Kate is not the brightest bulb anywhere but anything she would throw away would be viewed by that bodyguard. Kate would not have thrown that disc or discs away. That hard drive would have been destroyed. Kate had Steve to protect her and their business. You are so right about this Robert. He is going to make a bundle of money either from e mail book, movie rights, he will end up writing a screenplay loosely based on the Gosselins and he will make a bundle. But more people are involved: Website bloggers, Jon (now the good father who was given forgiveness by the Blogger and her followers) when that man saw every hit on his kids, knew of every beating. When he was Mr. Mom & he came home at night and he bathed those kids and saw the markings on those kids. Those toddlers said "mommie beat me" and he knew. So why the hell did he not stand up for his kids? Why did he leave those kids with her? He envied her so much, he went out looking for gold and left those kids to be with her?He traveled to the Hamptons, Paris, Rome. He was a guest in Hollywood's famous Beverly Hills.
This is a book for sure. How the hatred between Kate & Jon and envy for public attention and all the free stuff and money that came with it including first class everything all the time is what destroyed that family but it destroyed the lives of 8 children. Never will those kids ever be 100% forgiven of this father. NEVER. He is a part of this book, more to destroy their mother, but now those 8 kids are bigger, they hear everything at school. They remain quiet as they live among both parents. Those kids were an inconvenience once FAME came to the Gosselin household. What would have happened to those kids if no TLC came around and filmed them? How much abuse would those kids have suffered? More? Would they be in Foster Care now? Kate said that the marriage would have ended in divorce without the show. So she knew when she was expecting those 6 babies she and Jon would divorce? No I won't go to why she had or whatever the hell she did to get muliples. I just want you to know that you have been honest from day 1. You do not incite to riot on Jon's behalf, which goes on at other blogs. Jon was gone for 2 yrs and he visited the kids but he stayed with his mother, friends, at the house sometimes until his libido was more important than being with his kids. He couldn't get enough sex with everyone babysitter, barmaids, sister of a friend and all during child custody. What about Kate? She had her bodyguard but did Kate need sex? She needed FAME, money, limo, first class everything and the hell with everyone else including her kids. They were important to get her on TV and a subject to talk about but nothing else. Werny Gal, I may never write again but I had to say what I think has happened or is still happening because maybe it does make sense what I wrote. Nothing is as simple as what is on other blogs. Kate, Kate, Kate. Kate needed a partner to abuse her children and she had one but he declines to comment about she did to those kids all these years? Jon plotted and planned this Expose' of Roberts by providing copies of everything over the years. Now lets get Kate is what is happening. But Jon can't say "I saw it all for years" he has Robert discover it in different versions like ao Journal, Kate kept a Journal? Doubt that one. But Jon, your kids know how you left them, how you sat there while Kate beat them, the kids know everything, so now ruining what is left of their mother is not going to gain you any points with those kids, it will ruin those kids as you publicly destroy her. You didn't help them when they were just barely walking and Kate beat them with wood. Now you think you will make it all up to them by removing that person who hit them and crippled them mentally, so bad that Collin and Alexis couldn't be around people in school? Afraid of kindness? You Both are as low as you can get. Where would I put the kids? Hopefully, there is still their college funds but those kids and their money would be with Kevin & Jodi. Kate and Jon do not want theose kids. Never did. They should visit the kids as they flourish with a family not with Kate nor Jon. Thank you for letting me vent. I do not hate anyone but I find all of this peaking with the book, Kate's firing from CC and Jon sitting back laughing his ass off as Kate underestimated Jon. 100%. TLC will take Robert to Court or get a fancy injunction, he will not make money off of the years he had that information in his hands and did nothing to help the G8. KARMA WORKS FOR EVERYONE THE SAME WAY, IT COMES BACK TO BITE YOU ALL IN THE ASS. God protect those 8 children. Thank you Dr. for allowing this venting. I had to put it in writing to see it for what it is. I am only in the corner marked G8 and they are owned by no one anymore. Thank you God..

October 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

Hello Again, I was glad to be able to vent all that I did. I will gladly send you my e mail address that is how on the level I am. I did write you once about "going after Kate" and you wrote me back that you "were not trying to take her livelyhood away from her" and I thought you were very kind. Stop the abuse, not stop the gameful employment.

Polly, if I may, what did you think what you saw all the churches/teas/meetings in churches where Kate gave her speil about "looking for change in the sofa" and just going on about what they need. What type of personality, knowing they have hundreds of thousands of dollars, free everything, goes out and does that to people who are trying to help a young couple with too many children? I don't understand that.

I am from a family of 7, my older brother and I worked from the time we could get jobs, we were tall, so that was convincing. But never did my parents do anything, ask for anything or even let any family members know of how we needed some help. Especially those days when jobs weren't always there for my Dad. He would have a couple of weeks of lost work due to strikes, etc., but never, ever did we ask for anything. He would only accept what the union gave the strikers like a box of canned goods with something really neat inside, Peanut Butter. We ate Apple Butter on toast but Peanut Butter being advertised on the Mickey Mouse Club Show looked so wonderful to us. We did not feel sorry for ourselves, we were just kids that "wished we had this or that" and my Mom was amazing, working, putting dinner on the table for us, nice clean, comfortable home with what we needed (all hand me down furniture, nothing new) and she would clean office buildings at night. We had what we needed. The great surprises were the week we could have ice cream or we were able to see a movie at the local theater. We never expected anything from our parents. The younger children did get more than we older ones but we were grown by the time they were roller skating and doing things I had only wished for. Less children in the house, more that the younger are able to do. Never did my Dad hit anyone but he had a belt buckle that rattled and sent shivers in our bodies when he said "did you really do what your mother said" and that belt came off of his pants. I don't know what was funnier, my Dad trying hold up his pants us he slapped that belt against the door frame or us all standing there trying not to laugh until we thought we would wet ourselves. A mad scramble for the bathroom for the girls, for sure as the boys ran into the back yard. My parents put us all in private school (we did not have to pay anything but donate $7.00 a month into the church basket obviously we were one of those families in need) and we had good educations, no abuse by the priests or nuns and we had a good foundation when we struck out on our own, which was encouraged by Dad when he filled out papers for college and his IRS forms attached. They were amazing. What I compare them to? A young post WWII couple who truly fell in love and over complaints my Dad wasn't Italian but Irish, my Mom stood her ground and said she wanted to be with him for the rest of her life. What a hard life they had, when I think about it now. But they slept in the same bed, they were very respectful of each other and whatever my Dad said was the final word. They did their disagreeing or not agreeing in their bedroom. Sometimes I could hear my Mom raise her voice. Now it is so funny to think back to how she had more power in that bedroom than any of us knew, lol.
It is sad to hear of the G8 and how they have been pulled apart, beaten for wetting themselves, at 2 a boy has the hardest time. My mother had 4 boys to potty train and she knew which ones were the deep sleepers and she would go into their room and wake them up, all 4 at 2 a.m(when she came home from cleaning offices). and they would go to the bathroom. Never, ever was a wet bed anything other than that and she would rip off those sheets, we had plastic underneath, and she made the bed back up and put her sons back in bed. Yes all 4 slept in a double bed until they were too big for the bed. 2 at the top and 2 at the bottom. Boy, they laughed themselves to sleep many a night and then you would hear that belt buckle and everyone went to sleep.
You ask about punishment? No TV, no playing outside, more reading (we had a lot of books) and the killer was the TV as it was new to most of us. Rin Tin Tin was a heartbreaker for any of the older boys who adored that show.
I have lost 3 brothers and my parents. I have a close, close family, we see each other when we can, we stay in touch, we exchange memories about life and how hard it must have been for our parents to fill those glasses up with milk each night when you have growing children. But it was done, never a glass empty. If there wasn't enough milk for all, we got half glasses. I admire those people more than anyone else I have ever met in life. I have seen divorces among siblings, not so great marriages, happy marriages but never have I seen a sibling of mine strike their children. It did not exist and there were far more ways to discipline. I remember seeing my youngest brother sitting with his 2 yr old daughter, he was putting her shoes on and she was sitting on the kitchen table, crying her eyes out, and he quietly explained how toes need socks before you put your feet into your shoes or else your toes will be unhappy as they need to be warmer in the cold weather. Like putting fingers into gloves when your fingers are cold? She was sitting on the edge of the kitchen table, had her entire outfit on including coat, hat, gloves but she did not want to wear socks with her shoes. Those tears dried up and she put her arms out for her daddy and I almost cried. My brother learned that from my Dad. He did that so many times with all of us, took the time to explain why and answer our questions one on one. What an amazing, strong, hard working, loving man he was who could go from funny, laughing at I Love Lucy with us and Rin Tin Tin at night (as Mom was working) and he taught my brothers that dishes did not have the name "girls dry only on them" which I used in my life so many times myself. You do not have to post this. But amazing childhood? Yes, not without "wants" and some "envy" of those who didn't have as many children in their family as mine, but 2 parents who worked together and never, ever took disrepect from any of us nor would subject us to any marital squablings. Where have these people gone? Why aren't couples getting counseling before they decide to live together, before they decide to marry, agreeing not to lie to each other, talk about money, talk about how many and if any children to have, how they feel about animals, what was more important their marriage or their mothers or father's thoughts on their marriage. Counseling is the key.

I believe in counseling. I hope that Jon Gosselin is in counseling, not a 10 week session but for a long, long time. He will have to explain to his G8 that yes, they had everything that money could buy but they did not have loving parents, they were afraid to smile, to laugh, crying was the only emotion they used most days. How sad to think how the beatings by this crazy (I know you would not like that word) mother would injure them for life while a very weak, jealous, immature man would not lift a hand to help them. My life has not been perfect and I paint a very Rockwell image of our family life, but we didn't have parents who thought they would win a lottery, we didn't have lotteries, I had parents who had been through WWII, knew what sacrifices people made. Maybe we have that now too many people not understanding that Stuff is not as important as Life and how you live it. I will forever miss my brothers, my parents and those people in my life who were like a cement foundation that I could go to. But I am a kind, unselfish person who gives when called upon and who has always, always understood those that do not have. More than anything I know that children can be raised without harming them physically and mentally. You can talk with a child very quietly, very lovingly, very softly and not scaring a child so that the monster under the bed at night is not a ranting, raving drunk mother flying around the house with a wooden spoon beating you because you laughed with your brother or sister. God help her.

Polly I wish I could feel sorry for Kate Gosselin. I don't and it does not bother me at all, not at all. These are the monsters who have to be dragged out from under the beds and face their own monsters and I would assume Kate Gosselin has more than a closet full of skeletons but a Walk In Closet of Hurt and Pain. I do not know how long it will take to help her if she denies for the rest of her life. She frightens me because she cannot see what is right in front of her.

Tell me please what this type of personality is?

By the way we lost my Dad very suddenly, no heart medications in those days and my Mom sufferred for many years from a paralyzing stroke, so yes, our hardships were many. Good people who did good with just what we needed, a warm, comfortable home with food in the fridge and as Dad would say "everyone will be warm tonight and safe" before we went to sleep. Those are the words we heard before we went to bed.

October 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

Hi Melanie,

Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with us. This subject evokes so many feelings and childhood memories in so many. I appreciate the time you took to write all that.

Like you, I am disgusted at so much we've learned from Hoffman's book. I can't say I'm surprised but I am disappointed and disgusted. Those poor kids have had to put up with so much abuse and neglect just so their parents could make money and just do Kate could continue to convince herself she is special, beautiful, entitled, yada yada yada. It is shameful that they treated their kids this way and that so many saw it and didn't help the eight. There is no excuse.

Hoffman did a lot wrong with his book and who knows if it will ever be published. I personally don't think he's been honest about where he got his information from and the book is unprofessionally written in terms of him not covering his bases legally (as well as other ways.) It's too bad because if he'd done it right it could have been good, but he had to do it alone and his way and so now it may never succeed. One more mess in the total pile of messes in the Gosselin universe. And as usual, the kids remain with their self-absorbed mother and there is no help for them. I predicted this in my blog last week because why should this day, this week, this year be any different for those kids?

I agree about the monsters in the mother's closet. In my book I wrote about how her personality was surely formed. I'm sure we'll never know the facts because she and her family of origin and firmly entrenched in their denial and conspiracy of silence. Again, thus all trickles down and hurts the kids.

Thanks for writing and I hope it helped you feel better. It won't change anything in the long run but at least you know you're not alone in your thoughts and feelings.

October 21, 2012 | Registered CommenterWerny Gal

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